Scribble 3: Falling in Love in Literal Sense.

Welcome back, lucky wanderers. Or unlucky? That was truly yours to decide.

Alright, enough with the fantasy theme, let's go back to the Romantic-Comedy route. This is less tired of one genre and switching to another, though, it's more like a shower thought after I watched an anime titled 'Servant x Service'. And no, it's not H-rated although it have an x in it's tittle. It's a good one, really, and it got the right dose between Romance and Comedy part. The anime follows the story of a girl named Yamagami Lucy, a civil servant in a city hall, and her interaction with her unique co-workers. I rated it 9 out of 10.

Anyway, I recently looked back to my high school days, which just ended two years ago, by the way, and I thought about several times I got rejected by girls. And yes, I got rejected a lot of time that it wasn't even funny. I wanted to write a topic that's close with me, and I have experienced firsthand, to create a better flowing story, although I was inexperienced in writing stories in general.

And I just realized that I was bad in writing in general. Before my writing spirit dropped even further, The Scribble will now begin.

Scribble 3: Falling in Love in Literal Sense.

"Please be my girlfriend!" I stared intently at her eyes, my clenched hands starting to sweat profusely.

"Uh, eh, can't we stay being friends?" a generic rejection, huh?

"No, I wanted to be more than simply 'a friend' for you."

"Then, what about best friend?" this is bad, she said that but in reality she would start avoiding me the second I accepted that. I've grasped this kind of pattern long time ago!

"Can't I be more than that?"

"So, a close friend?" I'm friendzoned?! There was no room for negotiation?!

"But why?" there's no way I would back off from this one!

"Umm, we only started eating lunch together last week, right? Maybe we should get to know each other better before deciding on such thing...."

The look in her eyes had changed. That's it. There's no room to argue anymore.

"Well, I'm sorry for saying such unreasonable thing."

"It's okay. Well, I'm getting back to the class first, so, see you later, perhaps?" she stood from the cafetaria table, leaving me alone.

"Y-yeah, see you later...."

That's my fifth rejection in this month.

"Seriously, what's wrong with me?" I drunk my iced tea down to last drop, before crunching at the ice.

"Maybe the fact that you chased too much girls at once?" Vera, my childhood friend (yes, I have one of those), sat beside me and took a piece of ice from my now empty glass. "Or is it because your strange habit of eating the ice from iced tea?"

"I don't want to hear that from the girl that casually sat beside me and took a piece of ice from my glass!"

"More importantly, what kind of guy asked a girl out after just knowing each other for less than a week anyway?"

"Rick asked out a girl he just meet the day before and she accepted him."

"Yeah, the rich, handsome, academically and physically perfect Rick. You're ten years too early stand on his level." She got a point. He was just that good.

"Isn't that too harsh? I'm just got rejected, you know? At least cheer me up!"

"Then, want to try dating me?" she smiled mischievously, but her eyes somehow tinged with loneliness.

"Sure, why not?"

"Wha..." her face suddenly turned red as she almost choked at the ice, I'm surprised that human face could actually became that red. I laughed so loud that several eyes were looking at me.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." after trying so hard to held back my laughter, and after receiving heavy blow to my cranium, I laid my head on the cafetaria table with my hands on the back of my head.

"Ah, well, the bell is ringing soon, so I'll get going first." she stood up and walked away, but after  mustering my courage, I barely succeeded in holding her back.

"Wait! Skip this class. There's something that I have to tell you." I'm so nervous my hands started sweating, well, my hands was sweating most of the time, so,,,,,

"C-can't it wait until after school? And besides, you knew that my next period is a math test, don't you? Are you trying to get me held back a year?"

"After school it is, it' a promise, right!"

"Okay. The cafe right down the road, you're paying."

"Wait...." but she already ran back to her class.

Well, I won't get any lunch tomorrow. I'm surprised how she could be so slim when she could handle five special size sundae on her own when I barely succeeded in finishing one.

Well then, after four hours of boring English and History lecture later, I walked to the "Sweet and Meet" cafe, a pinnacle of human stupidity and sweets. Well, I'll admit that this is where the best sweets in town are, but that don't exactly boost my mood.

After all, I'm going to this cafe with an awkward feeling, like confessing to a girl that you've known for ten years and you just realized that you love her last week. Which is not entirely wrong.

"Did I keep you waiting?" a huge serving of ice cream, biscuits, and fruits was sitting neatly in front of her, barely touched, as her gleaming face looks like the very manifestation of the word beauty itself...

Wait, what the heck am I thinking?

"Is there something wrong with my face?" she asked, cutely tilting her head to the left.

"No, you're as beautiful as always." she chuckled. It's funny how I could say all those cheeky pick-up lines as a joke and yet trembles when it comes when I have to actually say it.

"Of course I'm beautiful. What, you just realized how beautiful your childhood friend is?"

My hands started sweating again, I probably have to see a doctor.

"Hey, sit down. Or you're too mesmerized by my undying beauty?"

I sat down in front of her. "As if."

"Hey, you're supposed to give smarter remarks. What's wrong with you today?"

"I'm just thinking, why the Vera Ashfire hadn't even touched her sundae yet, even when I'm paying for her. It must be a foreboding of an impending doom upon all mankind."

"It's not like I'm a glutton, you know." she playfully hit my forehead with the plastic spoon. "So, what was on the mind of His Majesty that His Majesty invited this humble maiden to a glorious meal?"

"Uh, well, as I said, I have something I have to tell you...."

"Okay, that's it. You're acting strange today. What, getting rejected by Laura was that shocking for you?"

"No, no it's not that, but. Ugh, I don't know how am I supposed to begin."

"Stop making it more complicated than it have to be. The way you're talking sounds painfully like a pretext to a confession, so unless you want me to misunderstand even further, you might want to finish this quickly."

"It is a confession! But I don't know how I'm supposed to confess to you, so except you're fine with this half-assed confession, let me think a bit longer!"

Awkward silence.

"I'm going home." she suddenly stood up, took her back and left me with the untouched, melting sundae.

"Whoa, I never saw a confession got ruined that bad." my cheek twitched as I heard a sharp comment from the table behind me.

"I know right? I bet she won't talk to him for weeks."

Weeks? She won't talk to me ever.

"I wonder if she would ever forgive him."

"Shh, be more considerate, can't you?"

I walked out of the cafe after paying for the wasted sundae, and as I walked under the crimson sunset, I reminisced at the long gone memory.

Once, there are three of us, the three innocent and completely naive children. They went by the name Fred, Vera and Ryan. And then, there are this stupid rule we set for ourselves.

"Between three of us, there are no secrets, no hatreds, and no love. For the rest of our live, the only thing allowed between us are undying loyalty and friendship that knows no ends."

Guess who made that rule up? Yeah, yours truly, Ryan Gatefire.

Once, the three of us played together, oblivious to the world around us. Well, a fifth grader had not much to think about life.

Two years later, at the peak of our seventh grade, an unfortunate car driver crashed to the bus that supposed to carry us to a mountain. Five of us died, including Frederick Blackfort. That Fred just have to die and left me with Vera, and then the feeling that I've forbid for myself grew, too strong inside me to purge.

My phone suddenly rang, a message from Vera.

"Are we still friends?"

A simple message, but with enough power to shatter my heart.

"Yes, we are."

Equally short, equally devastating. I took away my sim card and considered  throwing it away to the trash. But I cannot forget her that easily. After all.....

"We are still friends, but I can't help falling in love with you, Vera." a glimpse of memory flashed in my mind. A scarlet sport car, a bus, and a blood red mountain side road.

The history is repeating itself, over and over again. But this time, it's my time to lost something important.

I vaguely remembered the dull gray outline of the van that rammed me on the side, ignoring the traffic light. The rest of my memory was dyed red, that I later realized it's my own blood. And then everything went dark.

How long had I been unconscious?

"Ve.. ra..." a stabbing white light overloaded my very consciousness as I opened my eyes. I wince at the pain, and grimaced over the throbbing pain that assaulted my body.

"Doctor, the patient is awake."

"What... happened?"

"Before that, do you need something? Do you feel thirsty?"

"I don't feel thirsty, but I'd be grateful if, ouch, I'd be grateful if I could meet Vera Ashfire."

"Would you like to hear the detailed recount of the event?"

"That could wait."

"Our deepest apology, but we cannot immediately bring Ms. Ashfire. We would need another full day before we could bring Ms. Ashfire over, so if there's something else that you need, please tell us."

"It's fine, I'll just sleep." and just like that, my consciousness faded away.

When I woke up, a familiar face hovered a few inches away from my face.

"Vera. How long had I been unconscious?"

"Since that car hit you out cold? A full month. Since you asked to see me? Three days. I almost thought you were dead if I didn't see that ECG."

"A...month?"

"Yep. You won't believe how popular you really are, look for yourself." she shoved my phone to my face, no less than 30 message from every girl that had rejected me before I got hit by a car.

"Well, get hit by a car, and suddenly every single one of them wanted to know if I'm okay. I'd prefer more harmless stunt, though."

"Ugh, I have this urge to beat you to pulp right here and now, but seeing that it'll probably kill you, I'll refrain from that." the scary part was that this slender girl was actually had a Judo black belt, so if she said she wanted to beat me up, she could, and she probably would.

"Please spare me that horror." I muttered weakly.

"I'm not cruel enough to kill you. Yet."

"I knew it. I knew it all along." she chuckled, and then I followed, filling the dreadful hospital ward with bright laughter.

And then comes silence.

"Hey, you know." she took my right hand between hers, intertwining our fingers. "I too, once think that we could always be together, that it's fine even if I actually fell in love with you, but..." she paused, letting her sentence hung in the air.

"But what? Why can't you?"

"The one that you fell in love with, isn't me." my vision, no, my entire senses shattered.

Suddenly, I was thrust back in time, to the bloody accident I worked so hard to forget. There was blood everywhere, none of us escaped unscathed on that day, even I can't fully regain the full functionality of my left eyes, although the Adaptivity contact lens had corrected my vision to the level that its reduced capability poses no threat to my daily lives. But five of us was bearing the most brunt of the accident.

There was this girl, the purest essence of beauty as humans know, impaled squarely by her chest with a thick steel rod. The second I saw her face again, stained by blood, I realized my grave deed. I was just chasing the shadow of Reina Dawnsmith, on Laura, on Griselda, on practically every girl I chased. I even superimposed her images on Vera, the very person that ever actually cared for me, the only person that have been always on my side......

Tears flowed out of my eyes, as I grasped Vera's hands. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" repeating those words, I cried on her hands.

I got discharged a few day later, but my guilt still lingered behind my mind, haunting me.

"Are we still friends?"

Day by day, she would send the same message every evening, and almost mechanically, I answered it.

"Yes, we are."

And then she would tell me about her day, what did she do and who did she meet. But, I was never able to bear the pain of seeing her face, truly concerned about me, while I never really looked into her eyes all this time, while I spent my entire life chasing after the shadow of a girl that had gone long time ago, forcing an image that exist only in my memory to her....

Am I still worthy of the tittle of 'Friends', when I had done nothing but hurt her? The answer was as close and as clear as my own tears, but also as far away as the past, as obscure as the future.

If you have to be in my place..... Tell me....

What would be your answer?

The Scribble will now ends.

Sorry to make it a sob story halfway through, I've been playing too much VNs lately (teehee :p.). Anyway, see you on next incoherent babble, or not? Your decision.